I’m posting my first daily inventory, after reading the sections on Steps 10 & 11 in the Big Book with my sponsor this evening. I’ve made my own personal inventory to do each day with 4 components:
- Big Book inventory (how have I been selfish, dishonest, resentful and afraid?)
- My positive inventory (how have I been responsible, productive, loving and kind?)
- Higher Power (how have I experienced HP today?)
- Gratitude list (what am I grateful for today?)
SELFISH – I have not helped others today, instead I have just fed my food addiction. Due to spending all my money on this recently, I wasn’t able to help out the dog sitter by meeting him half way with my dog.
DISHONEST – I lied about a foot injury the other day to get out of seeing my parents as I was in relapse, today when I spoke to them I maintained that lie to avoid facing their negative reaction had I come clean.
RESENTFUL – I have resented the people that live in my building while we were all out when a fire alarm went off. I resenting being there with them, and looked down on them as many of them have mental health problems.
AFRAID – While walking out in public I was afraid of others judgement of my body. When I saw my ass jiggling in the mirror as I walked by I was afraid I would be rejected by men and never be loved or cherished. I was afraid I would never get the power back that comes with having a great body.
RESPONSIBLE – I did good step work today and made amends to my family, reached out to others by email, paid back money to a shop, and replaced some of a flatmate’s sugar which I used.
PRODUCTIVE – I spoke to many people on the phone today, took my dog for a walk, changed my sheets and tidied up.
LOVING – I told my family how much I appreciated them and how grateful I was for their caring and support. I gave my dog lots of cuddles.
KIND – I picked up dog poo to avoid others stepping in it.
HIGHER POWER EXPERIENCE
After making my amends to my family I felt a great sense of gratitude wash over me, which I had never felt before. To me, gratitude is a spiritual experience.
- Having enough clean linen to change my bed, even though I have 3 sets to be washed
- The nice weather today
- Being able to speak to both my parents and 2 sisters today.
Happy thoughts x