SELFISH – I didn’t really help others today, but focussed on myself. I could have done an amends from my list – cleaning the kitchen and hallway, but felt too tired to do so.
DISHONEST – I didn’t let my sister know that I wasn’t coming over, I should have just declined her invitation yesterday instead of saying ‘I’ll let you know’, when I didn’t want to go.
RESENTFUL – I resented a flatmate who was in the kitchen as I felt awkward and vaguely threatened (not anything he did, just my thing). I don’t like interacting with other people when I’m in a funk.
AFRAID – Of anyone who wanted to talk to me today. I didn’t want to interact. I also got tangled up in some memories of the past which made me feel very afraid on behalf of past-me (not quite sure what that is about).
RESPONSIBLE – I did laundry, made my bed and prepped some meals for tomorrow. I was also sober (yay!) and ate well. I had a moment of disease-madness and made a dessert before I could take the reins back, but I had a few bites then threw it away – this is progress!
PRODUCTIVE – I went to an online meeting, did some reading and started a prayer journal.
LOVING – I was supportive and encouraging in the online meeting.
KIND – To myself – I shared in the meeting even though it was not particularly positive. I also wrote a prayer when I felt unsure, and wrote about my fears of the past when they threatened to overwhelm me.
HIGHER POWER EXPERIENCE
I felt gratitude for the support in the meeting and the tip I got from another member to start a prayer journal (I’m curious to see how this turns out – you basically write to God and re-read what you’ve written some time later to see whether your prayers have been answered). I seem to be doing a lot of writing, but it’s better than eating or drinking!
- Enjoying my dinner of brown rice, butter beans, kidney beans, kale and tomatoes
- Tea! Assam and gingerbread green tea today.
- Knowing my family is there for me just at the end of the phone, even though I didn’t speak to anyone today.
Peace & serenity x